Can I Vacation with All My Friends?
A recent Wall Street Journal piece by Isaac Taylor titled “I want to Vacation with Friends- but Not All of Us Can Afford It” really hit home for me.
Fresh off a girls weekend that went from an exciting adventure to Sonoma to a relaxing a deeply fulfilling staycation of sorts, I definitely know what this is like.
The article more or less covers how the author wants to go on a big trip with their entire friend group, some seven or eight people. We all know that getting a trip out of the chat is hard, especially with that kind of squad size. What the author eludes to but doesn’t go into great detail about is why their friends can’t all afford to go and what to do about it. The author’s friend group is from college, a time where this friend group was equally “broke” and how now that they’re approaching 30 this is no longer the case across the board.
I think a few things about this article. First, it definitely hits home. I love nothing more than connecting people I love with things I love, and sometimes those things can be expensive! It’s not always feasible to connect everyone with everything, and I think we all know that, but there’s certainly a temptation to try.
Second, I think this is a big lesson about growing up and how things change. It’s unsavory and at times upsetting, but unless you’re willing to bankroll a trip for the whole gang it’s very possible that not everyone will be able to go on your big birthday blowout trip.
Third, it is so important to be talking about this kind of subject on platforms like the Wall Street Journal. We are living in a world where it feels like everyone is living a high life with designer this and luxury that, but it’s just a facade we’re seeing on social media. Most people live a life that is ruled by a budget, whether they actually budget or not. We all know the 5 P’s- Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance. This comes to our finances as much as anything else!
Lastly, the author closes with how for some friends, a big trip is possible but for others it’s not. The author suggests visiting some friends in their hometowns or lower cost vacations as a way of staying connected. I love this. It’s important to come into each relationship with flexibility and understanding. Over the summer, I told my two best friends from high school “buy a ticket to Denver and I will host you for a weekend.” I figured that pulling the cost of being on vacation out of the equation would make it easier for my two friends to say yes, and I was right. We ended up having a great time reconnecting and spending quality time together. I absolutely didn’t mind shouldering the burden of hosting them and I’m grateful I was able to do so…. but I can’t do this on the reg with every friend I’ve made over the years. Definitely not.
Similarly, I had a girl’s weekend trip to Sonoma in the works with my two best friends from college when one got engaged. Needing to conserve resources, we pivoted from the three of us flying from Colorado and the east coast to Cali to just me flying out east. We lodged at one friends home, at a mix of homecooked meals and restaurant ones, created great core memories and all at a total cost that would’ve added up to a fraction of our Sonoma trip. We agreed that we can visit Sonoma in the future and that quality time was the fundamental objective of gathering so it didn’t matter to us so much as to where we gathered.
Tldr: keeping up with distant or out of town relationships can be hard financially. Being flexible on how you gather can facilitate more times together and more memories made.
