Dating on a Budget

Dating is hard. Period. You’ve got so much going on- finding someone to go on a date with, deciding where to go and what to do for your date, grooming and clothing for your date… and all of that’s before you even go on the date!

When you have financial goals and/or a budget it can be harder than usual to navigate the dating world. Today we’ll go through a few aspects of dating and money and hopefully get you thinking about what’s most right for you and your situation.

First, a question: Do you give dates their own line item in your budget?

I’ve seen this go either way for folks in and out of relationships, there’s no right answer. If you don’t do this, you’re probably pulling from your dining out budget relatively frequently as many dates, especially if you’re going on a lot of first dates, revolve around food. Are you open to reserving eating out for dates? Remember, personal finance is inherently personal, so this is totally up to you.

Next, a rule: Don’t commit to anything you’re not personally comfortable paying for. Same goes for ordering food off a menu, if I’m not comfortable paying for it myself I feel it’s inappropriate to pawn that expense off on someone else.

Another question: Who is paying for the date?

I think this is tricky. Being female, I’ve received feedback that paying for a first date can indicate that I’m not interested. More established couples can build rules such as alternating or having the initiator pay but newer couples definitely have to do some dancing around this one. My opinion: male, female, hetero or otherwise, it’s always polite to offer to pay.

Now, I’d like you to brainstorm, either by yourself or with your potential partner, budget friendly date ideas. Destinations like the Denver Art Museum are an affordable $18 a person. Walks in the park are not just for 2020. Have a list on your phone of ideas ready to go because hot take going for drinks every time gets stale. In my experience, an activity that allows you to do something more than just interview your potential partner head on is more likely to create a comfortable space where you both can feel at ease.

Here’s a recommendation: be transparent about having a budget. It’s not necessarily appropriate to lay your complete financial situation out for your potential partner to see before even going on a first date, that’s definitely not what I’m recommending. But saying something like “I have a $50 budget for our date, how would you feel about switching it up and doing a picnic in Cheesman instead of going for drinks?” can set you up for success. Your potential partner will respect your honesty and may even be relieved for the change in scenery.

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